For the last 20 years, I often wondered what my love story would be. Yes, 20. Years. Single. A few dates here and there, a very short-lived relationship at 35, and that was it. I was focused on raising my son and building my career as a stuntwoman. I wasn’t truly ready to commit to someone. The idea of love sounded beautiful, but deep down, I wasn’t in a place to truly let someone in.

Of course, I wanted it. The thought of having a life partner like everyone else seemed so comforting. Not doing life alone. Not parenting alone. Not spending holidays alone. Not lying awake at night, stressing about life, alone.

Over the past years, I found myself wondering: What is wrong with me? Why was it so hard to attract “the one”? Everyone else seemed to find love, why not me? I assumed something must be wrong with me. So I spent years working with a spiritual therapist, healing traumas, addressing old wounds, and learning how to truly surrender and allow love in. Ultimately, believing it was going to happen for me.

When I made the move to Costa Rica, I assumed I had sealed the deal on staying single forever. Who would I meet in a small jungle town in a foreign country? But there was still this tiny flicker of hope, maybe, just maybe, my person would be in Costa Rica. Because one thing was certain: I wasn’t moving back to the States for anyone.

February 13, 2025.

A new guy shows up at the pickleball courts, a coach. And if you know me, I want to learn everything. His name is Laurie with a cute South African accent. So I set up a lesson with him. Completely unaware that one day, this man and I would start dating, and move in together. I just thought I’d met one of the kindest, most patient, naturally sweet men on the planet.

I wasn’t used to calm. I wasn’t used to kind. I was used to the emotionally unavailable, ego-driven men I always seemed to be drawn to. The ones who clearly, never worked out.

One reason I gave up dating? My only requirement for a second date was this: the man had to ask one question, “How are you?”

You’d be surprised how, in over ten years, not one man ever asked me that. So, NEXT. Yep, I’m a tough cookie to impress.

After our first lesson, Laurie sent me a video of our session via WhatsApp. Then, every day for two months, we would message briefly. Still, I had no clue he was interested in me. The daily chats started to become early morning texts, “How are you?” at 5 AM (a normal hour here in Costa Rica with the sun rising early). Still, I didn’t catch on. But I started looking forward to those texts every morning. The simple question “how are you” created a feeling inside that started a beautiful friendship.

Then came the moment that changed everything.

Laurie asked me to be his partner in an upcoming pickleball tournament in my area he wanted to join in on. I immediately said yes, he was one of the best players around, and I knew we could win (which we did). Tournaments here feel like prom, there’s talk about who’s going to ask who. It’s fun, even though pickleball drama can get intense when someone ditches their partner for someone “better.”

That day, during the tournament, Laurie was encouraging, supportive, and kind. But not just in a friendly way, there was something different in his energy. In our final match, I felt something click. The synergy between us was like a trailer for what our relationship off the court could look like. Pure. Easy. Supportive. Magical.

The next morning, the usual “How are you?” text came. This time, I was hoping for more, but nothing. The day after, same thing. I almost messaged him asking, “Are you interested in me?” Then, finally, a new kind of text came through, and it led to our first date.

The First Date

I drove 2.5 hours to Jaco, a coastal town where he had been living for the past year and a half. Not only were we going on our first official date, but we had another tournament that weekend.

Our date was straight out of a movie. We walked from his home to the beach with his dog, strolled along the shoreline for nearly a mile, and ended up at the most incredible dinner spot overlooking the ocean as the sun set. It was the most beautiful evening. The conversation flowed effortlessly. He asked thoughtful questions and actually wanted to know me, something I’d never truly experienced on a date. Crazy, right? Take notes, ladies!

I was interested. I was hooked.

We promised to take things slow. But that cliché I always hated turned out to be true: When you know, you know.

A few weeks later, he moved to my town. Two weeks after that, he moved into my home. And surprisingly, it made sense, not just to us, but even to my son.

Laurie has a heart I didn’t think existed. His love for animals, children, and his desire to grow, listen, and evolve is unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

Here’s the crazy part:

Over the years (20 to be exact) I had time to make a very specific list of what I wanted in a partner: genuine, funny, athletic, adventurous, loves to travel, from another country… but the one box I never thought would get checked?

Must be a chef.

Why? Because I hate cooking. If I’m going to wait this long for someone this is a must. I’m terrible at it. I get distracted, thanks to my ADD. The stress of figuring out what to feed my son every day was worse than walking seven dogs on a busy street.

LAURIE IS A CHEF. You read that right.

What we want CAN happen. It took me until 42 to find the most perfect person for me. And yes, it was a long, frustrating journey filled with “Why me?” and “Why can’t I meet anyone?” But now I understand, the Universe was conspiring all along, aligning all my desires into this one person. I just didn’t see it yet.

I used to visualize my future husband, what he was doing in that exact moment. Was he married? Did he have kids? Where in the world was he?

As it turns out, during those years, Laurie was married, had no children (though he always wanted kids), and was living, and from, South Africa.

Here’s what I’ve learned: Don’t settle.

The surrender in the wait builds strength, trust, and character. It teaches us to rely on ourselves, and to believe in something bigger than us. It’s clear now, I had big lessons to learn before Laurie could enter my life, and so did he. The Universe was priming me, teaching me how to feel whole to allow in who I truly wanted in a partner.

Once we both reached a place where life’s challenges had given us the tools to become the best versions of us, it was time. The Universe brought us together.

We each moved to Costa Rica within six months of each other. We both fell in love with pickleball around the same time, but in towns hours apart. And yet, that shared passion became the bridge that brought us together.

It was our very own “meet-cute”, straight out of my favorite movie, The Holiday.

So here we are.

Two people, once strangers, now sharing a life built on mutual respect, healing, growth, and the kind of love I used to only daydream about.

And it was worth every single day of the wait.

I refused to use dating apps. I genuinely, deeply wanted to meet someone in an organic way, so natural that it would feel like a beautifully random, magical coincidence, just like it used to be before technology changed everything.

If you’ve been single for years, my advice is this: trust the Universe to bring the right connection into your life in the most magical way, without trying to control it. Focus instead on becoming the fullest, truest version of yourself. When we learn to love ourselves deeply, without relying on anyone else to complete us, that’s when the magic begins. That’s when the Universe starts to conspire in our favor. Let life surprise you. Feel the excitement as if it’s already unfolding, because it is.